My Halloween Personality

Pinched from

 

http://journals.aol.com/malagutigrrl/FromtheEdgeofDementia/entries/2007/10/17/my-halloween-personality/4524

 

 

 

The scariest thing on Halloween is you! You definitely don't want any kids in costumes crossing your path - and you're willing to scare away any who do.

You definitely think of yourself as someone who has a dark side. And part of having that dark side means not showing it.

Your inner child is bittersweet, thoughtful, and never too greedy.

You truly fear the dark side of humanity. You are a true misanthrope.

You're logical, rational, and not easily effected. Not a lot scares you... especially when it comes to the paranormal.

You are picky and high maintenance. If you wear a Halloween costume, it's only when you really feel like it. And it has to be perfect.

The scariest thing on Halloween is you! You definitely don't want any kids in costumes crossing your path - and you're willing to scare away any who do.

You definitely think of yourself as someone who has a dark side. And part of having that dark side means not showing it.

Your inner child is bittersweet, thoughtful, and never too greedy.

You truly fear the dark side of humanity. You are a true misanthrope.

You're logical, rational, and not easily effected. Not a lot scares you... especially when it comes to the paranormal.

You are picky and high maintenance. If you wear a Halloween costume, it's only when you really feel like it. And it has to be perfect.

 

Update on My Knee

For some reason my surgery has been cancelled for 30th October (which had already become 31st October), so am now scheduled for 20th November.  I am feeling a bit fed up as I had made all my arrangements, had managed to get the other half to agree to get a extra two weeks off sick to help me out, and now everything has gone pear shape.  So much for private medical insurance and things being done at your convenience!!

 

Sent to me in an email today

The Why's of Men

1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?

(because they are plugged into a genius)

2. 2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?
   
   

(they don't have enough time)

 

3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
   
   

 

(they don't stop to ask directions)

 

4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
   
   

 

(because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock)

 

(You're laughing, aren't you?!?!)

 

5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
   
   

 

(so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties)

 

6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
   
   

 

(you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)

 

7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?
   
   

 

(don't know.....it never happened)

 

( C'mon guys, we laugh at your blonde jokes!)

 

And the personal favorite:

 

8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
   
   

 

 

(because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)

 

Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face and laughter in your
heart...Then you are just an old sour fart!

 

One for the ladies

 

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat-shirt
Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What
setting do I use on the washing machine?"
"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."

And they say blondes are dumb...
-----------------------------------------------
A couple is lying in bed. The man says,
"I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world."
The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."


-----------------------------------------------------------


"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of
the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed
the lawn like this?"
"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.

-----------------------------------------------

Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor


-----------------------------------------------------------

Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience
for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to
death.
AMEN


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.
-----------------------------------------------

Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and
calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manual."

My knee

Well had my appointment with the specialist today and it appears that I have two main options.  An arthriscopy proceedure (key hole surgery, a good look around, a wash out and repair damaged ligaments), or a full knee replacement.  The specialist suggested the first, as he says he is an engineer and would like to know what he is dealing with for future reference.  He reckons it will give me a few months relief and then he may have to go for the full knee replacement.  He reckons I am too young at 57 for that (asked for a letter to show my grandkids who all reckon I am old lol).

There was a 3rd option which was to do nothing, but given the fact that I am having difficulty sleeping because of the pain, cannot walk any distance, cannot bend my leg due to the swelling, that did not seem sensible, so I am going for the more minor procedure, hopefully on the 30th of this month.

Of course it has coincided with Bob going back to work after his heart op and my closest daughter will be recovering from a bladder operation, so somehow I am going to have to cope on my own, but thinking about it -what's new.

 

 

My Dream Home

Pinched from malagutigrrl - From the Edge of Dementia http://journals.aol.com/malagutigrrl/FromtheEdgeofDementia/entries/2007/10/01/my-dream-home/4404

 

 

I wish

Your home is a Magic Magnate's Manor   Your kitchen is someplace you never go, because you "have people for that." There's a Chocolatessen, which is rapidly becoming your favorite room of the house. Having one is also becoming a trend among your wealthy neighbors. Your master bedroom is the size of a small barn, with carpet thick enough to reach your ankles. Your study has hardback editions of every classic ever written, plus a special edition of Rich Dad, Poor Dad with the parts you ghost-authored highlighted. One of your garages holds your collection of ferraris, and is measured in acreage. Your home also includes a guest wing and private quarters for your servants. Outside is your hedge maze and gardens, meticulously tended by a team of world-class botanists. Below is a snippet of the blueprints: